3 Breaths Read online

  Staring out the window, I’m not sure why I am here, or how she can help. But I know she won’t judge me. The feelings inside of me right now are fucked up and she’s the only one that gets my pain. Sending her a text I ask, Can you take a quick break and come outside?

  She doesn’t respond and I feel like it’s wrong of me to burden her with my problems when she’s working. This has all been so hard on her as well. It’s been tough for her to even come back to work. Putting my truck in reverse, I look around me before backing out and she is walking out of the building. I stop right away, putting the vehicle in park and unlock the doors.

  She hops in and looks exhausted. “You okay?” she asks, worrying about me immediately.

  I run my hands over my face and let out a deep, frustrated sigh. “Just breathe,” she says using my own words.

  I stop what I’m doing and look at her out of the corner of my eye. I give her a small smile and say, “I don’t know what to do anymore, Ivy. I get up every day and try to find a purpose for why I am here, but…” I trail off, anguished with the current mental state that I am in.

  “Krane, it’s not your job to figure out why you’re here and Zoë isn’t. You have to believe that it was her time.” She rests her head back, her soft hair blowing from the air conditioner.

  God, she is so strong. “How do you keep going on like you do?”

  “I don’t have much of a choice. I stayed in bed for over a month and was about to lose my job. Work keeps me busy, a good distraction, I guess. Have you thought about going back to the city and training with Logan?” she asks me.

  I shake my head. “Without Zoë, I don’t think that I can go back to my old life.”

  She reaches for my hand and grabs it, resting both of our hands on my thigh. “You need to start healing, for Zoë. She wouldn’t want you to be like this.”

  I nod, acknowledging her words, but not having a clue how to do that. “Let’s work out tonight. We can go to the gym at my apartment and just do a light workout. Maybe it’ll help clear your mind.”

  I agree, for some God unknown reason. A social workout is the last thing I want. Oblivion is the only thing calling my name. But maybe being around Ivy reminds me of Zoë in a good way. Or maybe I’m just too fucked up to make a decision on my own right now.

  “Good, I’m off at seven. Now, go home and nap; you look exhausted,” she says.

  I nod my head and hug her as she leans over, the warmth of her body so soothing. “I’ll text you,” she says and I watch her get out of my car. She’s wearing tight pants and my eyes follow her ass as she’s walking away.

  Heading home, I’m shredded by guilt from staring at Ivy’s ass, defiling her memory for noticing any ass not Zoë’s, knowing she’d have my head on a fucking platter for checking out another chick, and probably take my head off that platter and run it through a meat grinder for it being her sister’s. And then a bolt of agony shoots through me…all I want is Zoë. So much. So I stop to pick up a bottle of tequila to numb the pain and the shame. It’s not the right thing to do…but right now, nothing that I’m doing is right.

  Getting back to my car, I hear my name being called from behind me. “Krane, wait up, man.”

  I turn to see Rod, an old friend of mine that I partied with a ton before things with Zoë got serious and haven’t really seen much since, but he knows all of what went down. “How the fuck are you?” he asks. “You holding up okay?” There is a genuine smile on his face, which is unlike Rod’s egotistical self.

  Looking down at the pavement, I kick the gravel frustrated, knowing it’s better to just lie to him and tell him that I’m fine than to tell him how I really am. “You good, bro?”

  “Yeah,” I feign, not able to bring myself to look at him.

  “Good! I’m glad I ran into you. I know you’re going through a lot, but I wanted to invite you to a little get together at my place tonight. I’d love to hang out again and catch up. Like the old days.”

  I nod my head, picturing the nights that ended in blackout and nothingness we used to have together. “Yeah, man, for sure.”

  “Great, six o’clock?”

  I agree and watch him jog back to his Mercedes. It’s been years since we’ve hung out. Zoë hated Rod. He was a bad influence on me for sure. He always had sick ass parties and there was sure to be more than just booze there. Looking down at the handle of tequila I’m holding, something more might be just what I need right now.

  Do you want to grab a quick bite to eat before we work out? Ivy texts me.

  Fuck! I completely forgot that I’d made plans with her tonight. Running my fingers through my hair, I think about how to handle things. Checking the clock, I figure the best thing to do is just ignore her, especially with the thoughts that I had earlier. She’s Zoë’s sister – her ass needs to be fucking nonexistent to me. But she is the only one who understands me, so I’ll handle dealing with the repercussions tomorrow.

  Sitting out front of Rod’s familiar oceanfront house, my mind is flooded with so many memories of past times being here and none of them were with Zoë. That’s strange to me, but also kind of a relief, because all of my memories lately have been consumed by the times we shared. Looking at my empty passenger seat, it hurts to not have her with me, though she sure as fuck wouldn’t want to be here. Taking another swig of liquid brain eraser, I make myself one promise – tonight I will not think of Zoë and everything I lost…only the future, as dismal as it may seem currently.

  Getting out of my car, I cross the barren street, music from his house pumping through the air. Walking up the front walk, the door is open and there are a ton of people scattered across the front. I head in and look for Rod, but instead spot a keg in the corner of the room. I fill myself a cup and plan to spend a lot of my night right here.

  “What’s up, man?” Rod says, coming in from outside.

  I smile and raise my cup to him. “Not much, just got here.”

  “Don’t drink that shit, let me get something for you,” he says.

  I finish the beer because for me any booze is good. Rod opens the freezer and pulls out a bottle of Patrón. It’s not only my favorite, but his too. Pouring us each a glass of the chilled liquid he says, “I’m glad you made it tonight.”

  We head to the outdoor fire pit that is surrounded by a group of people, fortunately all strangers to me. As we each take a chair, I make an effort at small talk, when all I want to do is down my entire glass and let the booze take over. “What’s the celebration for?” I ask.

  “Nothing really, you know me, I just wanted to get some friends together and party.”

  Yup, that sounds just like Rod, always partying for no good reason. “You still fighting?”

  “A little…” But I lose track of my words as my thoughts are interrupted. My eyes are glued to the door where an ex-girlfriend and her punk ass boyfriend she cheated on me with walk through.

  Rod looks at me, catching sight of why I stopped talking and says, “Ahhh, fuck, man. I had no idea they were gonna be here.”

  “It’s cool,” I tell him, not giving a shit really. What she and I went through was so many years ago I couldn’t care less. But for some reason, I can’t take my eyes off of them. She doesn’t look happy like I remember her, and he’s not even acknowledging her, busy on his phone, completely oblivious to the world.

  “Is it cool?” Rod asks me.

  “For sure, brother. I wouldn’t cause problems at your house. Plus, that’s old news.”

  “Good. So when’s your next fight?” he asks me, trying to pull me away from my death stare.

  “Fuck, I don’t know, it could be tonight. I’m doing more of the underground stuff right now.” Taking a drink I sit back and look him in the eye. “I haven’t really got back into taking it very serious since I lost Zoë. Nothing seems to motivate me anymore.”

  “I’m sorry, bro, I really am. But getting signed and fighting for a title was always what you were after. I’m surprised you aren’t le
aning on that now, going all out.”

  I shake my head, “I’m not doing much anymore but making it through each day.”

  He raises his drink to me. “I hear ya, but I can see it in you, man; you need to get back in it.”

  “Nah, if I don’t have her to enjoy it with, it doesn’t seem worth it.”

  “Well, some pussy then, something’s gotta give to get you out of this fucked up rut.”

  I laugh and blow Rod off, like I have so many times through the years. He always thinks he knows what’s best for other people.

  He heads inside and I can’t help my eyes as they wander back to Jenn. She’s looking at me, and her asshat of a boyfriend still has his nose in his phone.

  Is that what she really wanted?

  She smiles, but I can’t do the same. Jenn really fucked me up and put me through a world of hurt. Now she has the audacity to smile sitting there with the asshole that she played me with, while I did nothing but love her. Looking at the two of them, I guess she got what she deserved.

  What she did jacked with me, and Zoë was the only girl that could pull me out of the craziness that I was living in afterwards. Taking the last chug of my tequila, I head inside. The party is rowdy. Music fills the air and there are cheers around the keg. A girl is high in the air and everyone is chanting, “Drink, drink, drink, drink.”

  Filling up my glass with more Patrón, I lean back and watch these stupid people, knowing these guys are getting these girls drunk so they can get some pussy at the end of the night. My mind drifts to Jenn and I look outside to see her boyfriend finally paying her some attention. I can remember the night that I caught those two together, I wanted to beat the shit out of him, but she wouldn’t let me. Looking at her now, I can’t forget what she did to me. As I take a mouthful of alcohol, I catch sight of a familiar blonde. Zoning in on who it is, I’m shocked to see Jenn’s little sister, Casey, and she’s definitely not little anymore.

  Damn, she’s fucking hot.

  Long blonde hair, tight ass, short belly shirt and then the group of people around the keg raise her high into the air and the chant begins again. Slamming my drink, I walk over to her and give the douchebag holding her legs a glare. He passes her legs to me and I watch her plump pink lips as they are sucked around the end of the tap.

  The room spins a little and my cock twitches for the first time in a while.

  Yup, I’m fucked up!

  After she consumes what seems like a pitcher of beer, I set her down and pull her to me. Casey always had a thing for me and her reaction tells me that after all of these years that hasn’t changed.

  “Holy fuck, Krane!” she yells, throwing her arms around my neck. I hold her back keeping my hands low and whisper into her ear, “Fuck, you’ve grown up.”

  She pulls back with a grin ear to ear. “I’m twenty-three, what’d you expect?”

  Running my fingers through my hair, I shake my head admiring her. She bites her bottom lip and I smirk at her. “Wanna have a drink with me, since you’re legal and all now?”

  She nods her head and I grab her hand, leading her to the bar where I grab the bottle of Patrón and pour us each a glass. “How have you been?” she asks.

  I shrug my shoulders ignoring her question. “How ’bout you? What have you been up to?”

  “Working. I got a job with a record label in the city and I love it.” She takes a drink and looks outside. Then suddenly she grabs my hand and the Patrón pulling me away from the bar. She opens the door to Rod’s spare bedroom and shuts it quickly.

  “What the fuck, Casey! What’s the matter?” I ask.

  “Jenn was coming inside. Her reaction would be nuclear if she saw us together.” Pushing the lock on the door to keep us safe, she takes a swig from the bottle and then passes it to me.

  She wobbles a little and I hold her up. “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” she responds and catches me off guard cupping my dick through my pants. My eyes get wide and I set the Patrón on the dresser next to me. Looking at her as I rest one hand on the small of her back and the other I place behind her head, I let her keep touching me and find I like the feeling.

  As she rubs my cock, I can’t help but push myself into her, meeting her movements. She looks up at me with those innocent eyes and I bring our lips together. As our mouths connect, everything else in my mind slips away and my cocks throbs, leading me through this.

  Kissing her, she moans as our tongues work together. I reach down with one hand, unbuttoning my pants, needing more. Slowly, she slides the zipper down and works her small hand around my needy shaft.

  Pulling away from her kisses, I look to see her hold me so tightly and then she’s on her knees. Brushing the hair out of her face, I let her take the lead, stretching those plump pink lips around me. Her warmth shakes my body, my balls tighten, and I work my hips matching her strokes. She swirls her tongue and my cock gets rock hard, sucking me off like I’m a fucking lollipop.

  But before I blow my load, I pull away and bring her to her feet. She looks a little confused and asks, “Why did you stop me?”

  “Because I want to please you too.” Grabbing the hem of her shirt, I lift it above her head. Her tits spring free, pink nipples just like her lips, and I reach for her pants, unbuttoning them one button at a time. She stops me, grabbing my forearms and asks, “Do you have protection?”

  It’s not exactly where I imagined things going, but envisioning my cock inside of her, I know I need it. I nod my head and guide her onto the bed, drenching her entire body with kisses. “Does that mean you want my cock inside of you?” I ask her.

  “Yes,” she answers breathlessly.

  Kissing and sucking on every part of her body, I am surprised with how clear my mind is and that nothing else matters right now. All I want to do is this, kiss her, lick her, suck on her, and then work her pussy. Teasing her nipples, she arches her body back, and I reach into the nightstand pulling out a condom, knowing Rod always has a stash in here.

  Some things never change.

  Tearing open the package, I kneel up and roll it down my length. She watches me with her legs spread wide waiting for me. Holding her legs apart, I hover over her, teasing her clit with the head of my shaft. Then slowly, I ease my way into her tight cunt. I’ve always been a sucker for a tight pussy.

  Finding her mouth with mine, I kiss her slowly, synching my tongue to my thrusts. Casey moans, making me drill her that much more. Clearly, she must like it rough, because the deeper I get, the louder her noises are. Her legs are now wound around me and I find my hands in her hair.

  My body trembles on top of her, enjoying this, a desire that I have missed. I support myself above her, working my thick shaft in and out of her. She arches back and I watch her, taking in her enjoyment of me. Then out of nowhere she screams my name and my balls erupt, shooting cum from the tip of my dick. I ride her hard. Loving how she quivers underneath me as we come together.

  Casey is panting and we are both sweaty. I smirk, kissing her one more time before I pull my cock from her. “Fuck, you have a tight pussy.”

  She laughs lying on the bed naked. “And you have a great dick.”

  She stands briefly, grabbing the bottle of Patrón and takes a swig. I flush the condom and then come out of the bathroom to get dressed.

  “Thank you,” I tell her as she hands me the bottle.

  I take a swig and she asks, “For what? The sex or tequila?”

  “Both,” I tell her and lean down giving her another kiss and pass the bottle back to her. She takes it from me and as I leave the room, she says, “You know, he’s nothing like you were to Jenn. He’s been an asshole to her for years.”

  I look back at her before I close the door and say, “I guess she got what she paid for.”

  I leave the room with the vision of her sitting naked on the bed etched into my brain. As I turn to head down the hallway, I run right into Jenn who looks concerned and asks me, “Have you seen my sister?”

  I
can’t help but smirk at her.

  Oh the timing.

  I open the door and Casey is pulling up her jeans, her tits are still free and she stands in the room half naked and a little wobbly. Jenn looks at me and I wink at her before walking off. There are so many things that I could say to her right now, but it’s pointless. Jenn always questioned things with Casey and I when we were together, so this will just rub salt into the old wound and hurt her. God, the look on her face was satisfying and fucking Casey took my mind off of the pain, just like fighting does.

  Fuck, I wish the banging in my head would stop. But it won’t. Every time that I think it will, it keeps pounding again and again. “Krane,” I hear my name and open my eyes, the light of day blinding me. “Krane, open up!”

  I stumble from the couch, still drunk, and open the door. Standing so beautifully with two coffees and a brown bag in hand is Ivy. She turns her head from me and says, “Fuck, at least put some pants on.”

  I look down at my half hard cock and cover it with one hand. “Sorry,” I say and turn searching for my jeans which are nowhere in sight. Walking towards the bedroom, I spot them on the floor and look back to see Ivy staring at my ass. “You can come in, Ivy.”

  She shakes her head as if to clear some bad thoughts from it and I laugh to myself, putting my jeans on. I look for my shirt and remember that I jerked off in it when I got home; thinking of fucking Casey got me going.

  Picking another shirt out of my closet, I walk back out into the living room where Ivy is sitting on the couch, taking the food from the bag. “What happened last night?” she asks.

  And I’m reminded that I completely blew her off. I trust that she really doesn’t want to know what happened, so I lie. “Uhh, I got called to fight in the city and my fucking cell phone died. See?” I show her the black screen, knowing that I am horrible with charging the piece of shit, ’cause Zoë always did that for me.

  “Did you win?” she asks.

  “Yup, took him to the ground and snapped his arm in an arm-bar before the ref could call it.”